CANDY
2005-11-08, 04:28 PM
(1)我们希望指出,这里市场竞争激烈,要想成功地销售出去,你方报价须具有吸引力,否则将有困难.
共有五个分句,各自语法地位大不相同.汉语是一种流水句,分句间可以由逗号相连;但英语讲究形式上的相互照应,不同语法功能的从句必须反映在句型和关联词上.这是汉译英中比较重大的一条.也就是说,汉语可以用四个逗号隔出五个分句,但英语不可以,而是要用关联词,从字面形式上体现出其内在关系.
例如, 可以认为, " 指出"的原因在于"竞争",当然也可以表现为"竞争"的逻辑结论是"指出",这样这个句子至少有两种英译形式.
1)We would like to point out that because of the harsh / fierce competition in our market your quotation must be attractive to the buyers at our end before we could sell successfully your products here.
2) Fierce competition in the local market here means that, it seems obvious to us, it would be difficult for us to promote successfully the sale of your products if your quotation is not attractive to our end-users here.
如果五个句子综合考虑,可以变换角度译为:
We would like to point out that your quotation has to be attractive to the buyers here, otherwise it would be difficult for us to sell your products in this competitive market.
市场竞争激烈: fierce / harsh / competitive market
(2)如果你方的价格做得开的话,我们相信能成大生意.
像"价格做得开"和"能成大生意",这类熟语,与别的信函中可能出现的专业性比较强的术语一样,在商务英语中都可以做适当的淡化处理. 也就是说,无论汉语原文是专业色彩较浓的,还是相对口语化的,用于信函往来的译文都可以使用一般化的句型和词汇,只要说清楚事情就行,不必追求风格上的一致.
a.If your prices are in line, we trust important business can materialize.
b,If your prices are attractive, we believe we can make big business.
3)很高兴收到你方8月25日询价,根据你方要求,今寄上有插图的目录和明细价目单.
两个逗号,三个分句,两个完整的意思.四种处理译法:
a.处理为一大一小两个简单句
We were very pleased to receive your inquiry of August 25 and enclose our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list as you asked.
b,处理为两个句子.
第一句告知来信收到表示感谢,
We are very pleased to receive your inquiry of August 25.
We were very pleased to have received your inquiry of August 25.
第二句根据特定要求采取寄上目录和价单的行动.(汉语原文中省略了主语,英译文中必须有主语,译文的主语可以是"我"或"我们"或"我公司",这样译文可以是以下的任何一个或其他变体:
I am pleased to enclose our illustrated catalogue and the price-list for your reference.
We are pleased to enclose our illustrated catalogue and the price-list for your reference.
For your information we are sending you a copy of our illustrated catalogue and price-list.
We have enclosed our illustrated catalogue and a copy of the detailed price-list for you.
Our illustrated catalogue and price-list are enclosed for your reference.
Enclosed for your information are our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list as you asked.
C,把对方"you"作为译文的主语,这种着眼符合国际信函中比较受重视的you attitude,值得提倡.这样需要改变谓语用语,也就是由"寄"改为"收".
Enclosed please find our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list as you asked.
You will find in the attachment our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list you asked for.
Would you please check and find our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list enclosed.
D,译文主语为"目录".以物为主语在英语中远比汉语中用的多.
The illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list you asked for have been enclosed.
Two copies of our illustrated catalogue and price-list , which you asked for, have been enclosed for your infomation.
4) 根据你方要求可译为: in accordance with your request 或 as per your requirement但不宜译为: according to your demand.前两种译法是对的,但显得有些公事公办容易产生距离感,因此不如译为:as you asked / as required / as requested 达意即可.
(5) 我方可保证收到订单后两周内交货.解析: 如果"交货"定义很明确,而且与客户的贸易条款已商量妥当,可译为:We guarantee to deliver the goods within fourteen days of receipt of your oder.但如果"交货"定义不明,贸易条款尚未商量妥当时,建议不要落实译为deliver the goods, 可以采用effect shipment 为好, 为了淡化或者中和汉语原文中的"可保证",而不把话说死,以免被动,可译为:We would try to effect shipment in fourteen days of the receipt of your order.因此,在商贸信函中,汉英表达不必要求句法与词上的一一对应,关键是把事情说清楚,更有效地为促成贸易而服务.
(6), 寄上 / 邮寄 / 附寄 / 随信附上 / 随函附上一份这些汉语说法,可以译为下列方式之一. 与其他公文套语一样,这里的关键不是"字字对应"的翻译, 而是具体"语境"下的"语义等值"enclose ( v )Enclosed is a copy of ...We enclose a copy of ...Enclosed please find a copy of...
(7) 日期表达汉语,英国英语,美国英语有些区别,各自有相对固定的格式. 下列为国际商务信函中比较通行的正确表达方式.请注意词序,词间空格,基数词和序数词及逗号的应用:18 August, 2004 August 18, 200418th August 2004Tuesday, August 18, 2004在比较正式的商务信函中,虽然有些外国客户也采用下列其中之一,但以下七种表述都不对,不好,不准确:5/4/05; 3-26/03; 4/7/2005; 11-6-04; 8.8.2004; Sep.14,2003; Dec.12/04因此我们给外国业务伙伴写信时,同一日期中的年月日次序,应当尽量考虑到收信人的背景,如果是英国人或英联邦国家的,可按英国式的"日,月,年"排列,(18 August, 2004 ) ;如果是美国公司或背景不是很清楚的,可按美国式的"月,日,年"词序排列( 如: August 18, 2004)
(8), 我方产品质量上乘,价格合理.a. Our products / goods are both excellent in quality and reasonable in price.(原汁原味,活用介词in,非常地道的英文表达)b,质量上乘 high quality, super quality, reliable quality, excellent quality, superior in quality.c, 价格合理 reasonable price; rational price; moderate price; competitive price; street price; right price etc.
(9) 询盘:Heavy enquiries witness the quality of our products.大量询盘证明我们产品质量过硬As soon as the price picks up, enquiries will revive.一旦价格回升，询盘将恢复活跃。
(10), 最近市场上对钢管需求量很大,因此我方对此实盘不能保留太久.最近市场上对钢管需求量很大 :a.There has been a great / big / active demand for steel tubes in the market;b,The demand for steel tubes has been great in the market.c,Steel tubes have been in great / big / active demand in the market.d, Steel tubes are very much in demand in the market.仔细品味这四种表达法,英语多用小词(如介词)的特点一目了然.因此我方对此实盘不能保留太久.a,Therefore we can't keep this offer open too long.b, It is therefore impossible for us to keep this offer open too long. (推荐使用)从意思表达完整的角度,两种译法皆可,但从英语的表达习惯角度而言,b显然更为可取.
(11)需求大则必然会造成涨价,这一点希望引起你方注意,同时请你们早日作答.从前的译文: Active demand will certainly result in increased price, to which we hope you will pay attention. Meanwhile , we expect your early reply.在语法与语义的完整性上都无懈可击,但在语气上居高临下,含有教训人的口气,读者自然不悦.如果着眼于促成生意的目的,可以略去不说"注意".a. As you are aware that big / active / great demand in the market will lead to price hikes, we look forward to your early orders.b,Probably you have noticed that strong market demand for steel tubes , and an early order will benefit both of us.(从对方的角度展开,以期达到benefit both of us ( 双赢---win-win),对方一看感觉挺爽,一不小心下了很大一笔单,Cool)c,Active demand will certainly result in increased price, and for this reason we expect your early reply.(for this reason,从价格上涨角度出发,替对方考虑,言下之意为快点下单,这就是狡猾得不露痕迹,外贸英语就要写得让客户不知不觉中按照我们的意图去做,而且还很高兴的样子)
(12) 我们没有最低起订量的限制，你可以订几台甚至可以只订一台机器。
There's no minimum quantity, so you can order just a few or even just one machine.
The price depends on quantity. 价格依数量而定.
今天就到这.. :gogo:
共有五个分句,各自语法地位大不相同.汉语是一种流水句,分句间可以由逗号相连;但英语讲究形式上的相互照应,不同语法功能的从句必须反映在句型和关联词上.这是汉译英中比较重大的一条.也就是说,汉语可以用四个逗号隔出五个分句,但英语不可以,而是要用关联词,从字面形式上体现出其内在关系.
例如, 可以认为, " 指出"的原因在于"竞争",当然也可以表现为"竞争"的逻辑结论是"指出",这样这个句子至少有两种英译形式.
1)We would like to point out that because of the harsh / fierce competition in our market your quotation must be attractive to the buyers at our end before we could sell successfully your products here.
2) Fierce competition in the local market here means that, it seems obvious to us, it would be difficult for us to promote successfully the sale of your products if your quotation is not attractive to our end-users here.
如果五个句子综合考虑,可以变换角度译为:
We would like to point out that your quotation has to be attractive to the buyers here, otherwise it would be difficult for us to sell your products in this competitive market.
市场竞争激烈: fierce / harsh / competitive market
(2)如果你方的价格做得开的话,我们相信能成大生意.
像"价格做得开"和"能成大生意",这类熟语,与别的信函中可能出现的专业性比较强的术语一样,在商务英语中都可以做适当的淡化处理. 也就是说,无论汉语原文是专业色彩较浓的,还是相对口语化的,用于信函往来的译文都可以使用一般化的句型和词汇,只要说清楚事情就行,不必追求风格上的一致.
a.If your prices are in line, we trust important business can materialize.
b,If your prices are attractive, we believe we can make big business.
3)很高兴收到你方8月25日询价,根据你方要求,今寄上有插图的目录和明细价目单.
两个逗号,三个分句,两个完整的意思.四种处理译法:
a.处理为一大一小两个简单句
We were very pleased to receive your inquiry of August 25 and enclose our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list as you asked.
b,处理为两个句子.
第一句告知来信收到表示感谢,
We are very pleased to receive your inquiry of August 25.
We were very pleased to have received your inquiry of August 25.
第二句根据特定要求采取寄上目录和价单的行动.(汉语原文中省略了主语,英译文中必须有主语,译文的主语可以是"我"或"我们"或"我公司",这样译文可以是以下的任何一个或其他变体:
I am pleased to enclose our illustrated catalogue and the price-list for your reference.
We are pleased to enclose our illustrated catalogue and the price-list for your reference.
For your information we are sending you a copy of our illustrated catalogue and price-list.
We have enclosed our illustrated catalogue and a copy of the detailed price-list for you.
Our illustrated catalogue and price-list are enclosed for your reference.
Enclosed for your information are our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list as you asked.
C,把对方"you"作为译文的主语,这种着眼符合国际信函中比较受重视的you attitude,值得提倡.这样需要改变谓语用语,也就是由"寄"改为"收".
Enclosed please find our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list as you asked.
You will find in the attachment our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list you asked for.
Would you please check and find our illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list enclosed.
D,译文主语为"目录".以物为主语在英语中远比汉语中用的多.
The illustrated catalogue and the detailed price-list you asked for have been enclosed.
Two copies of our illustrated catalogue and price-list , which you asked for, have been enclosed for your infomation.
4) 根据你方要求可译为: in accordance with your request 或 as per your requirement但不宜译为: according to your demand.前两种译法是对的,但显得有些公事公办容易产生距离感,因此不如译为:as you asked / as required / as requested 达意即可.
(5) 我方可保证收到订单后两周内交货.解析: 如果"交货"定义很明确,而且与客户的贸易条款已商量妥当,可译为:We guarantee to deliver the goods within fourteen days of receipt of your oder.但如果"交货"定义不明,贸易条款尚未商量妥当时,建议不要落实译为deliver the goods, 可以采用effect shipment 为好, 为了淡化或者中和汉语原文中的"可保证",而不把话说死,以免被动,可译为:We would try to effect shipment in fourteen days of the receipt of your order.因此,在商贸信函中,汉英表达不必要求句法与词上的一一对应,关键是把事情说清楚,更有效地为促成贸易而服务.
(6), 寄上 / 邮寄 / 附寄 / 随信附上 / 随函附上一份这些汉语说法,可以译为下列方式之一. 与其他公文套语一样,这里的关键不是"字字对应"的翻译, 而是具体"语境"下的"语义等值"enclose ( v )Enclosed is a copy of ...We enclose a copy of ...Enclosed please find a copy of...
(7) 日期表达汉语,英国英语,美国英语有些区别,各自有相对固定的格式. 下列为国际商务信函中比较通行的正确表达方式.请注意词序,词间空格,基数词和序数词及逗号的应用:18 August, 2004 August 18, 200418th August 2004Tuesday, August 18, 2004在比较正式的商务信函中,虽然有些外国客户也采用下列其中之一,但以下七种表述都不对,不好,不准确:5/4/05; 3-26/03; 4/7/2005; 11-6-04; 8.8.2004; Sep.14,2003; Dec.12/04因此我们给外国业务伙伴写信时,同一日期中的年月日次序,应当尽量考虑到收信人的背景,如果是英国人或英联邦国家的,可按英国式的"日,月,年"排列,(18 August, 2004 ) ;如果是美国公司或背景不是很清楚的,可按美国式的"月,日,年"词序排列( 如: August 18, 2004)
(8), 我方产品质量上乘,价格合理.a. Our products / goods are both excellent in quality and reasonable in price.(原汁原味,活用介词in,非常地道的英文表达)b,质量上乘 high quality, super quality, reliable quality, excellent quality, superior in quality.c, 价格合理 reasonable price; rational price; moderate price; competitive price; street price; right price etc.
(9) 询盘:Heavy enquiries witness the quality of our products.大量询盘证明我们产品质量过硬As soon as the price picks up, enquiries will revive.一旦价格回升，询盘将恢复活跃。
(10), 最近市场上对钢管需求量很大,因此我方对此实盘不能保留太久.最近市场上对钢管需求量很大 :a.There has been a great / big / active demand for steel tubes in the market;b,The demand for steel tubes has been great in the market.c,Steel tubes have been in great / big / active demand in the market.d, Steel tubes are very much in demand in the market.仔细品味这四种表达法,英语多用小词(如介词)的特点一目了然.因此我方对此实盘不能保留太久.a,Therefore we can't keep this offer open too long.b, It is therefore impossible for us to keep this offer open too long. (推荐使用)从意思表达完整的角度,两种译法皆可,但从英语的表达习惯角度而言,b显然更为可取.
(11)需求大则必然会造成涨价,这一点希望引起你方注意,同时请你们早日作答.从前的译文: Active demand will certainly result in increased price, to which we hope you will pay attention. Meanwhile , we expect your early reply.在语法与语义的完整性上都无懈可击,但在语气上居高临下,含有教训人的口气,读者自然不悦.如果着眼于促成生意的目的,可以略去不说"注意".a. As you are aware that big / active / great demand in the market will lead to price hikes, we look forward to your early orders.b,Probably you have noticed that strong market demand for steel tubes , and an early order will benefit both of us.(从对方的角度展开,以期达到benefit both of us ( 双赢---win-win),对方一看感觉挺爽,一不小心下了很大一笔单,Cool)c,Active demand will certainly result in increased price, and for this reason we expect your early reply.(for this reason,从价格上涨角度出发,替对方考虑,言下之意为快点下单,这就是狡猾得不露痕迹,外贸英语就要写得让客户不知不觉中按照我们的意图去做,而且还很高兴的样子)
(12) 我们没有最低起订量的限制，你可以订几台甚至可以只订一台机器。
There's no minimum quantity, so you can order just a few or even just one machine.
The price depends on quantity. 价格依数量而定.
今天就到这.. :gogo: